Monday, September 28, 2009

Moving On

Well, we've moved on. Or, over. Our family has officially relocated one state over, back to Arizona, but this time in Phoenix. It's taking a bit of adjusting (as to be expected, naturally) and I'm anxiously awaiting the end of summer (and thus the end of 105 degree heat). Yes, it is almost October and yes, it is currently 102 with a high of 106.

But we have a beautiful home that is (mostly) unpacked. Much more space than we had before, which is nice. We're slowly making new friends and reconnecting with old ones.

I am enjoying my toddler who occasionally tries my patience and almost always makes me laugh. It's nice to have a bit of my life back now that she isn't so needy as an infant.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

I Didn't Know

I didn't know it would be like this. Motherhood. Wearing your heart exposed. I see the photos of Mary holding the Christ Child, her Immaculate heart exposed with a sword in it and I just get it.

Motherhood is like that. A heart on the outside, waiting to be pierced with both sorrows and joys.

Last night, I spent the evening reading a blog by a mother whose fourth pregnancy had a "poor prenatal diagnosis." She chose to carry her pregnancy to term and give birth to a daughter who lived for two and a half hours, a daughter who died on her birth day. I'm not a sentimental person. But I wept, wept at the photos of her tiny daughter, wept at the thought of losing my child, wept because throughout the world, there are mothers who lose their children every day.

Every six seconds, a child dies of hunger.

Every thirty seconds, a child dies of malaria.

Every eight seconds, a child dies of lack of water or a waterbourne illness.

Every three seconds, a child simply dies.

That's 20 children per minute, 1,200 per hour, 28,800 per day.

Those statistics should stun anyone. But it should especially stun us who are mothers. The mere thought of losing my child is enough to bring me to my knees in grief because I love her so much. And motherlove is the same across all languages and cultures. Every child on this planet--every person on this planet--is loved like I love my child. The thought of that much love is staggering.

That is over 28,000 women a day whose exposed hearts break as their beloved babies and children die in their arms, the sword piercing.

The thought of that much sorrow is staggering.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Deepest

I thought maybe I'd forget this year, that my life had woven its way out of your memory and into the future. But here we are again.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
*e.e. cummings

Friday, March 27, 2009


Five tiny toes
pointed high
straight to the ceiling.
Arm thrown out.
Sweaty hair pressed
against forehead.
Hand patting my face
while sleeping.
Sweet smell of
milk breath
mingling with mine.

Snapshots of my nights.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Friday, January 30, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Friday, January 23, 2009

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY, BABY! These are our wishes for your next year. May you grow in light and love.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Friday, January 16, 2009

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tuesday, January 13, 2009



Monday, January 12, 2009

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Friday, January 09, 2009

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Monday, January 05, 2009

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Friday, January 02, 2009


Just painted my toenails with a fresh coat of red.

Thursday, January 01, 2009


I am going to embark on a photography adventure this year. "Project 365" is a challenge to take one photo a day to document your life over the course of one year and post them to a blog.

So January 1, I give you Charlotte and her Ride Along:


Lately, I feel like the Virgin Mary.

Not in the virginal sense, of course.

My favorite verse from the entire Christmas story is the often unnoticed one.

Luke 2:19: But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.

I love this Bible verse. In fact, it might be my favorite verse in the entire Bible. It's not a verse that is prophetic or life changing. It doesn't talk about salvation or the destiny of mankind. But, the verse is so...human. So real.

I've often wondered about Mary. Last year, I felt like her, being very tired and great with child. But now that I've had my child and hold her squirming body in my arms every day over the last year, the reality of what motherhood is has resonated with me--what it means to create a person from my body, nurture her body and soul every day with my own body.

These days are so long and these months are so short. And I find myself, every day, treasuring up all these things and pondering in my heart.