Sunday, September 17, 2006

The Only Living Girl in ABQ

Do we ever find our place in life?

I often feel like I'm merely waiting for the next stage in my life to begin. I suppose it is a symptom of the past 24 years of my life, a product of being an almost professional student. As I progressed through degrees, it really became more about finishing up education to begin "real life" or "What I Wanted to Do when I Grew Up" and less about simply living.

Except I'm finally here. I'm grown up for all intents and purposes. Yet I feel like I'm still waiting but I'm not sure exactly what I'm waiting for. I've achieved all the major milestones that psychologists require for adulthood. Completed schooling, income, marriage. On paper I look damn good. You'd hire me.

So why do I feel like I'm still searching? What am I looking towards? What am I passing by on my search? Will I know it when I find it?

At what point do we sit back in our lives and say, "Yes, I've made it. I'm here." Or is it simply part of being human and cerebral that we always have one thumb out, hitching a ride to the next milestone of life, chasing time, until the road runs out?

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