Monday, March 05, 2007

Commitment Phobe

I've never been one to have a fear of commitment. In fact, I would call myself a commitment lover--I serial monogamy-ed my way through my dating years and here I am, 26 and been married almost a year.

Obviously, commitment to a person is not an issue for me.

However, as evidenced by this move to ABQ, I do have issues committing to a place, an identity as a "New Mexican." I have been stubborn about this, refusing to give an inch, refusing to like this city or to make it my home.

And then I quit my job.

Yes, this Friday is my last day, but lest you think I have been irresponsible, I will be starting my new position in the Infectious Disease Bureau with the DoH of NM. This is a job with true career potential, a job that will hopefully go somewhere, a job that could BE something.

So this is the crux I face. Is it perhaps time to accept that this is not another phase of my life to get through, not another uncomfortable and undesirable chunk of years viewed as a chore? Perhaps it is time to fully commit myself to this city, to this move (which is not so recent anymore) and ground myself in what is really my life.

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