I'm horrible at will power. Usually, if I want something, I get it. Impulsively, I buy unnecessary things, eat crappy food, kiss bad boys, go on expensive (but fun) trips. It's a horrible way to be because I'm always getting myself in trouble in some way, shape or form (gaining debt, gaining weight, gaining bad boyfriends, missing school).
But tonight, I've showed some restraint (sort of). On the way home from Phoenix (v. nice time--Med Student has v. nice friends), we stopped by the mall so I could buy a few more gifts. I ended up buying myself some new underwear (it's one of my SERIOUS weaknesses), but they were on sale at Victoria's Secret, so I don't feel too bad.
But what I really want is an iPod. Bad. Like, I'm seriously lusting after those slim, white, credit card sized music holders.
I ran out of shampoo this evening when I was showering. I needed to go to Walmart, which just *happens* to be next to a Best Buy...which sells iPods...on sale....
I wandered into the Best Buy "just to look around." I held the 20 GB iPod in my hand, stroking its smooth white plastic cover, the metallic back, the round buttons just the size of my fingertips. I almost bought it. Almost. I called the Med Student, asking his opinion. His first response was, "Do you want me to talk you out of it or into it?" (Good man.) I asked for just his opinion, which was to wait, it'd still be there in a few days, a few weeks, a few months.
So I listened to his advice and am waiting. I put the iPod back down in its holder, letting my fingers linger just a moment longer. I promised I'd be back and made my way to Walmart where I bought only the things I needed (shampoo and a new bathroom rug since Zola's pissed on the blue one) and a Diet Sprite, which I didn't need but can justify since I was thirsty.
I hope this battle of will power gets better as I age. Even now, I'm sitting in my bedroom CRAVING sweets. I have nothing in my house except old mini-Snickers (and I'm saving those for Anneke), and I am refusing to go to the nearby Circle K on the principle that my waistline does not need sweets and I have an exam to finish. However, I wonder how long I can hold up. If I can't battle against my desire to eat, what will I ever win against?